My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize