Can Purell be used as lube?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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