I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
