butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
