He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
