Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
