Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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