all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
