we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
