Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
