Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
