is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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