Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i dont even know how to be here
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
