So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize