My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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