Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
