we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
