you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just cut my nipple shaving
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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