I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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