I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Let's get the cat blown out
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
