Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
