She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
