I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
