hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How naked do you want me to be?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
