There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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