FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
is wine microwaveable?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
