kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
