I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Text me some of your sweat
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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