Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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