I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this just has baby written all over it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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