how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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