how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
