Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
