jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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