Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize