woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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