Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
