im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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