so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
