so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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