I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
