...so i touched it.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
