If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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