D3 body, D1 cock
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
