ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
