can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
