Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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