I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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