bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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