Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
