So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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