ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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