i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
