His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
