dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
