:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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