Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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