Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She's the barista slut.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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