I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
