I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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