Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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