so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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