Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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