As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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