I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
