Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize