think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
